2019 is coming to a close. The days are getting shorter by the minute. Holidays and winter vacations are just around the corner. It’s the most wonderful time of the year, and for some, it’s also the worst. So I try to focus on kindness wherever I go, despite myself having very human moments. I am not immune to stress, overwhelm, impatience, sleepless nights, or grief. We all know that a little bit of kindness goes a long way, and I’m sure you know where I’m going with this… turning that kindness inward can only make things better. And so, I’ve compiled 3 wishes for you to enhance your self-kindness practice this holiday season.
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I’ve taken a break from writing articles in the past several months. While I enjoyed the break, it was also very necessary. I had found myself in the midst of a great deal of change, mixed with some uncertainty, chaos, excitement, confusion, and a lack of inspiration. So it became a conscious decision to hit pause and surrender. Eventually, somewhere in all of that, I recalled a concept that perfectly describes where I had landed…
You’re ready to move on from the argument. She’s not. Which, of course, stirs up a whole lotta feelings in you about everything you thought you’d already gotten over. You’re both stuck in an endless, angry loop of resentment.
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You want to get on with your life, feel independent and well-resourced—emotionally, spiritually, mentally, financially, in all of the ways... But talk is not cheap and time is not unlimited. So how can you get the most out of your investment in therapy without heading to Splitsville before you’re ready?
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New Year, New You has looked like embracing the yoga mat, spin class, or your partner's request to try something new (painting classes, poker night, fabric softener), but either your resolution isn't sticking, or your resolution just isn't what you need right now. It's not filling you up. It's certainly not lighting you up. In fact, it might be what's bringing you down.
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You don’t want to feel dead inside anymore. At work, at parties, in your relationships, when you get dressed in the morning. It's time to figure out why contentment seems just out of reach for you. What does this all have to do with self-worth?
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The holidays are upon us, and it's not all sugar plums, rugelach, and gingerbread spiced lattes for everyone. In fact, the holidays can be quite unbearable for some.
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I was reeling in the chaos that is a crowded children’s shoe store on a Sunday afternoon when I had a surprising moment of clarity— I had to let the thick clouds of mom guilt subside first, but once I did, my mood improved drastically as a result. It was a bit touch and go there for a second.
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"If one more person asks me to do one more thing for them today, I'm going to lose it!" This is what you’re saying to yourself as you make your way home, unaware of the satisfying sensations of your new boots crunching down on the leaves that have just fallen on this crisp fall day. You are bone-tired, you are forgetting yourself. And no amount of pumpkin-spiced anything is going to do it for you.
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You say to yourself, “feel the fear and do it anyway," and suddenly you freeze. Your heart is racing, your breath is shallow, and you're sweating. You can't do it, but everyone and their brother says you can. You are terrified... and ashamed on top of it all. What's going on?
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I had already announced to friends and family that I would be leaving my deplorable, unhealthy, traumatizing job in a blaze of glory when I got the phone call from HR: "I'm sorry to tell you, we've decided to go with someone else." And there I was at work, under-caffeinated and miserable, with a full day in front of me, sucker punched and head throbbing with anger, sadness and resentment. So, I did the only thing I knew to do.
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"Should I accept the job offer at the high-stress firm with all the notoriety and big paychecks or stay put where I can grow into a leadership role in a job that is comfortable and flexible? ...take that once-in-a-lifetime solo trip overseas or stay home because I'll miss my daughter's recital that week? ...order the double bacon cheeseburger or the chopped kale Caesar salad…
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It's rough just opening your inbox these days. You can't stomach one more engagement notice, baby announcement, or invitation for the latest start-up launch party in town.
It seems like everyone but you has this magical ability to go out and make life happen for themselves...
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You know that thing where you want to get inspired and motivated to do something kinda important, but your Instagram feed, disorganized sock drawer, and re-runs of The Golden Girls seem to have taken hold of this section of your brain? Or maybe you've done everything you could possibly do, down to the last detail... and now you just have to let the rest fall into place? Maddening, I know.
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You may have arrived at this page in search of an answer, a sign, a confirmation, or that ‘gut feeling’ that therapy or coaching is the next step for you. That’s a brave place to be… and if you’re anything like my clients, you probably paused at that last part a bit. "Courage is for marriage, child birth, divorce, nailing that interview, taking a stand against your boss, not THIS" you say.
But enrolling in therapy, coaching, or some other transformational process is a big deal. So, honor it!
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Jack*, a soon-to-be retired member of our elite military forces, sat across from me, his eyes brimming with tears.
“I think I’m done," he said and looked away from the table for a moment to wipe his face and steady his voice.
Moments like these can literally take my breath away...
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We are constantly evaluating and thinking our way in and out of relationships, jobs, agreements, projects, and situations.
What if you could balance your skills of logic and left-brained thinking with a more intuitive, instinctual way of knowing that could reaffirm your trust in yourself, your choices, and your relationships? Below are just a few tips to get started…
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"I want to throw my phone out the window of a moving car, but I can't stop watching my newsfeed!" she said as she refreshed her feed once more... "it's just so much...so constant... people I know fighting on Twitter, families not speaking to each other... and who even knows who to trust anymore?!" she said.
“What is going to happen?” seems to be the question on everyone’s mind these days.
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Angst, fear, jealousy, anxiety— these emotions and the stories that accompany them become much lighter and more manageable when we acknowledge and become conscious to them. It requires patience, but this kind of presence and awareness is available to everyone, everywhere, any time.
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My blog post this week comes to you via poetry. I'm a lover of words and I try to indulge in writing at least once a week for a short block of time-- even 15 minutes will do. Poetry is by far my favorite artistic endeavor within the confines of the written word.
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